Nature of Happiness

When do you say that you are happy?

Generally there are two scenarios in which one feels happy. A pleasurable incident or object will make you feel happy. Secondly an incident or object which will remove pain can also make you happy. Take any number of examples from your day-to-day life. They all can be classified into these two basic categories of happiness. Pleasure giving or pain relieving.

The terms pleasure and pain are used here in a very generic way. In fact, they cover a lot many aspects – both physical as well as mental. And the idea of pain and pleasure can vary with person to person, place to place and time to time. We need not get into the variations and intricacies of them at this stage. It is sufficient to know how pain and pleasure are related to happiness. let us pick a few examples out of the  innumerable objects and events which can make us happy for further analysis.

Don’t you become ecstatic when at last you own your long cherished sports car? Similarly, your joy must be boundless when your dream girl announces her love to you. And when the doctor declares that the operation is successful, and your son’s life is out of danger, a pleasant feeling replaces the tension and agony you carried for days.

What is happening in these situations? How do you become happy? What generates the happiness? Where was it before these incidents occurred?

In the first case, did the sports car deliver happiness to you? Was it hidden inside the car?  Was your loved one happiness personified so that you can get it on contact? And after the operation, what made the agonizing state to turn into a pleasant one? 

Or put it straightforward, what is the SOURCE of happiness? Is it those objects and events? Or is it something else?

If the ‘object’ itself is the real source of happiness, then why the same object does not give same amount of happiness always and to everyone? Do you now care for your favorite childhood toys which were the major source of your happiness once upon a time? Why an object appeasing to your wife is intolerable to you? How many fights you had with your wife on watching soap serials on TV? Why the happiness you get out of an object fade out and become misery over a period of time? Take your spouse for a perfect example! And why an object pleasurable in one place is just the opposite in another? Or why your joy doesn’t increase proportionally with quantity? Is the 4^th cup of ice cream as enjoyable as the first one? 

It is plainly visible that happiness we enjoy from an object is not the same at all times, in all places and all situations nor it is the same for everyone. And the amount of happiness does not increase proportionally as you gather more and more. Above all, there are situations where you really don’t need the object as such but a recollection can also bring back the happiness. From all these, isn’t it obvious that the objects by themselves are not the real source of happiness?

We have seen earlier that we derive happiness by submitting to pleasure and avoiding pain. It seemed that that's why we are running after these objects/events expecting them to give us pleasure or help us get rid off pain. But we have just concluded that the objects themselves are not the source of happiness! Then what the hell are we doing by pursuing them? How come we become happy by associating with them? If they are not the real source then what is?

Well, it seems we have to dig more into this to find out what is the driving force that makes us run around looking for happiness which actually is not there. And also how we can relate objects to pain and pleasure and in turn to happiness.

Let’s take the aspect of pain first as it is easier to demonstrate. Assume that you have a splitting headache. It definitely is a painful physical condition which you want to get rid off as soon as possible in whatever way possible.

But why should a headache make you unhappy? Can’t you take it as a normal phenomenon like the heart beat?  Can’t you accept it as a part of your own being and be relaxed? Of course not! Because, it is not an inborn aspect of your NATURAL STATE. Your natural state of being is devoid of headaches and it is a kind of disturbance to your system. So with a headache, your natural equilibrium gets disturbed and you strive to regain the state of no-headacheness at any cost to be happy again.

Suppose you are born with a headache. In that case, you will never identify it as a headache nor will feel it painful and something to be get rid off. Because, that headache is natural to you just the way the wetness in your eyes is. You feel irritated when your nose is wet but not with the eyes. You have never known a conscious state when this headache is not. More over, you will be worried if suddenly the headache disappears one fine day. You will feel there is some problem in your system and you may even consult a doctor! Now the absence of a headache becomes painful to you!

What we can deduce from this is that pain is a call for attention to the disturbances in your natural state. It is a mechanism by which you will be alerted and activated to remove such disturbances and there by gain back the natural state of perfection which seems to be a desirable one – or in other words - a happy state.

Now, what is pleasure? Why do we crave for pleasurable objects and events? How do we become happy with them.

Pleasure is a feeling that arises when a situation/thing is achieved as desired. Pleasure is directly associated with desires. But, why do we have desires? Because, we are not contented with our present state of being. There is a feeling of lack of perfection. Every desire is aimed to fulfill these lacking and to be back in total contentment.  So what happens is, desire causes a disturbance in our natural state of perfect poise and equilibrium. It creates a kind of vacuum which invites a fulfilling motion. And when that desire is satisfied, there is a moment of satisfaction, a moment of no more needs, and we are back to our natural state of perfection.

Since both pain and pleasure are intended to bring us back to our natural state where we feel happy, the fundamental characteristics of our natural state must be pure happiness.  In that state we are perfect and full and need nothing else at all to be happy. But due to the inherent tendencies, waves of desires come up one after another tainting this sense of perfection. When a particular desire is satisfied, you fall back into that state again, at least for a moment, and enjoy the inherent happiness until another desire arises to disturb this stillness.

So it is not the objects of desire that is the source of happiness but we ourselves are. We are happiness personified. By our nature we are happy. In fact, we don’t have to do anything at all to be happy! Just be. We don’t realize this because of the constant turbulences and disturbances happening within and without. Where as the disturbances are caused either by desires for pleasure or by fear of pain which actually is another form of desire – desire to avoid or get rid of.

Ultimately, it can be concluded that desire is the root cause of all your suffering(unhappiness). If you can be in a state of perfect desirelessness, you will stay grounded to your natural state of pure happiness and you will be happy no matter what happens internally or externally.

But how can we function meaningfully if we don’t have desires? Desires are the prime force behind any actions and achievements. Does this mean that we live and die like animals or plants or rocks?

Of course not. No one is asking you to drop all your desires and go into a kind of oblivion.  Just understand the facts. When this understanding seeps in and gets digested and absorbed, and when it becomes part of your ‘operating system’, a transformation begins to happen. What you call as “my” desire will become more and more impersonal and will take the shape of a “need” or a “necessity” of the prevailing situation. In a highly advanced state you might say “there is a need” instead of “I wish”. The “me” who was associated with all your desires gets dropped off. So whatever needs to happen will happen without your interpretation as “your” desire, because the link associating the desire to “you” is no more operational. Thus all the necessary actions will go on superficially without disturbing your equilibrium at the centre. And as a sentient living being, you will function as intelligently and efficiently as anyone else.

Thus, what we have seen so far is that our primary goal of happiness is actually an inherent characteristic of our natural state and not something to be gained from outside. Any disturbances to that natural state will create unhappiness. The disturbances are caused by desires and by fulfilling them the natural happiness is felt until another desire comes up disturbing the equilibrium again. A state of total desirelessness is a state of perfect happiness. You don’t need to do anything to be happy but just stay grounded to your natural state. That’s all.

But, where does spirituality fit into this? We will discuss it in the next post.